W00t! My beloved blog is now working properly (and running sexy fast) again, all thanks to some snazzy database rejuvenation/trimming and esoteric WordPress optimization. Herr Database is now a lean, mean (but unfortunately not green) machine. Congratulate me. Yes.

In other news, I discovered today (whilst on my seasonal crawl for good Web hosting deals) that the much acclaimed, WordPress-endorsed Web hosting provider DreamHost was holding a Year-End Blowout Sale — sign up before midnight on Dec. 30, 2008, and receive one year of Web hosting for $0.77 USD per month, with a lifetime of unlimited storage and bandwidth! ("That's a $119.40 value for just $9.24.") Add to that their 97-day money-back guarantee and the free domain, and I was immediately sold!

My only regret is that I hadn't discovered and blogged about this promotion sooner. Awwwwwwwww, dudes… think about the lovely deals you could've nabbed! Well, I guess it wouldn't really matter, since readership is so low… but imagine if you were a bit more loyal. It hurts, doesn't it? To have such a golden opportunity slip through your fingers? HAHAHAHAHA WELL IT SUCKS FOR YOU, SUCKERS. FOR ONCE IT PAYS TO READ MY BLOG!!

*prolonged, gratuitous maniacal laugh is unexpectedly curtailed by a hacking cough*

Well, if you're quick, the offer ends in about two hours. If you're too late (as the proverbial death screamer would helpfully intone), watch these videos. They'll cheer you up.

Also see the interviews with Jon Bon Jovi (the American rock musician) and Zack Braff (the television actor).

Yes, my munificence truly has no equal. I love you too.

Update (12/31/08): THE SALE IS STILL ON, GUYS!!! It appears that Dreamhost is extending the sale — the deadline is today, Dec. 31! There's only about 40 minutes remaining in my time zone, but since DreamHost is based in California (I think), you should all have… 3 hours and 40 minutes.

Well… what are you looking at? Get going!

There's several things I despise about Asian females in general. First of all, their quietness. Their submissiveness. Then there's that annoying inability to grow a personality, or else their penchant for adhering to pop-crazed Asia's ideal of a gentle, unobtrusive sweetheart. Finally, let's not forget their bleeping academic fetish and borderline pathetic obsession with school rankings (or, at least, that's what experience has taught me here in the U.S.). *cough cough*

So, I think you know where this is headed.

Tila Tequila

Hometown: Singapore (grew up in Houston, Texas)
Genre: Hip-hop, rap
Years active: 2001–present
Links: Myspace (most popular artist on the site) - Official site - Wikipedia

Trust me, this is as sexy as this blog's ever gonna get.

Tila Tequila (legal name: Thien Thanh Thi Nguyen) was born in Singapore to French-Vietnamese parents. She moved to Houston, Texas at the age of one, living the difficult immigrant lifestyle that some of us are accustomed to. But unlike some "Asians" in our midst, Tila is uninhibited. A former Playboy model, reality TV star, self-proclaimed "Miss Myspace," and now an aspiring hip-hop/rap artist, she's the opposite of the abhorred Asian stereotype — bold, aggressive, somewhat licentious, and overtly bisexual. And not to mention a piece of unbelievable eye candy… if you know what I mean.

Although the kind of suggestive antics on display in Tila's world are not my usual cup of tea (ahem), I do honestly admire her for several reasons. First, her repudiation of that loathsome Asian image. Second, her lovely music videos. And third, her thoroughly badass punk attitude, as manifested in lyrics such as "I'll fuck you up!" and "'Cause I'm the crazy bitch, I ain't got no shame." And some of her music itself is the kind of hip-hop that should be produced — undiluted and glorious. Not that hip-pop rubbish they spit out elsewhere.

If you still don't know why I admire this gorgeous bisexual, check out her music video to "I Love U." See if the title matches your expectations. And yes, I do delight in seeing her with that whip. And the guy on the ground, being the submissive one for once.

Recommended tracks (via Myspace): "Stripper Friends," "Paralyze" (a more mellow pop tune)
Music videos: "I Love U" (*** FREAKIN' AWESOME ***), "Stripper Friends" (a bit salacious; definitely not for the mild-mannered)
Rating: 7/10

In other news, I upgraded to WordPress 2.7 yesterday. I'm not sure I'm a fan of the new redesign. Sure, it's snappier and, uh, more Web 2.0-ish… but did we really have to sacrifice the color? The pizazz? And half of my functional plugins?

In other other news, I'm also working very hard on my next installment of the underground/indie reviews. Even though my readership is perpetually close to zero. Don't know why I even bother.

And oh yeah… happy holidays, everyone! Two weeks of nonstop napping! ^____^

And hey, there's a week left before spring break…*

I am spending way too much time at the public library.

Homework… must work…

Haha, this is pretty sad.

Note: The aesthetically flawless WordPress theme before you was designed completely by myself. On the downside… I think I just reduced my lifespan by five years.

* Actually, that's more like, "GODDAMMIT!!!!! THERE'S STILL AN ENTIRE WEEK LEFT!!!!!!!!"