(Suitable prologues to this post: my reviews for Stephenie Meyer's Twilight and New Moon. The current subject is Eclipse, third installment in the series.)
Hands down, this is perhaps the worst book I've ever read.
Excerpt from back cover:
In the dead silence, all the details suddenly fell into place for me with a burst of intuition.
Something Edward didn’t want me to know.
Something that Jacob wouldn’t have kept from me.
Something that had the Cullens and the wolves both in the woods, moving in hazardous proximity to each other…
Something I’d been waiting for anyway.
Something I knew would happen again, as much as I might wish it never would.
It was never going to end, was it?
Indeed. When will it ever end?
And referring back to the post title, here is the reason I thought Eclipse was "inappropriately" titled, in the most acute sense of the word:
to eclipse
- (transitive) Of atronomical bodies, to cause an eclipse.
The Moon eclipsed the Sun.
- (transitive) To overshadow; to be better or more noticeable than.
The student’s skills soon eclipsed those of his teacher.
Um, excuse me? This miserable excuse for a novel is incapable of overshadowing anything, unless you count that talking-hooded-monkey-assassin short story that my brother wrote more than a year ago.
…
Oh, wait, now that I consider it… nope, even talking assassin monkeys are 500 times more entertaining and better-characterized than this load of shit.
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"What am I supposed to do / I don't wanna be your referee, but…"
Ugh. Lolita is a disturbing piece of work. Of course, the prose is quite beautiful and very unique, from a stylistic point of view… but being privy to a thirty-something man's relentless obsessions over a twelve-year-old girl isn't an entirely… wholesome experience, I'll admit. Hahaha. Nevertheless, still very beautiful… (the language, I mean.)
Books I currently covet from afar (but haven't the money to purchase):
I'm also (rather relucantly and furtively, for the lack of anything better to occupy my time) looking to obtain a copy of Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer. I spent about two hours at Borders the other day, poring over manga and vegetarian cookbooks and privately debating whether it would be prudent to shell out twenty-ish bucks for the thing… that is, until I imagined a certain friend's expression of amusement and smugness and my subsequent abashment, not to mention my disappointment/disgust and prompt disposal of the dratted thing anyway. (I did place a hold for it at the library, though. But I was shocked and mortified to discover I was no. 129 in the queue. Number 129! I mean, one hundred and twenty-nine!! (How shall I count the ways?) Before moi, there are one hundred and twenty-eight uncultivated chick-flick lovers and hopelessly lowborn readers of teen romance novels… One hundred and twenty-eight self-professed fans of the abominable star-crossed, heart-fluttering, eyelash-batting lovers Bella Capulet and Edward Montague… And one hundred and twenty-eight spineless, and in all probability mentally retarded idiots wasting away their library's resources in order to wait hopefully in line for what's bound to be the sappiest, most irritating piece of melodramaticized vampire romance shit ever published. Don't they have any proper shame, the morons?)
At any rate, I'm looking forward to a meal of pasta and pesto later today. Sarà delizioso (which would be "Será delicioso" para los hispanohablantes). Hmmm, has it stopped raining yet?
- Listening to: "Blow My Whistle" by Hikaru Utada & Foxy Brown
- Currently reading: Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
Ahem, attention, my fellow North Americans mobbing bookstores in the pursuit of Harry Potter 7 (or lazily sitting at home, hopefully not downloading the illegally scanned text from the Web): Whatever you do, do NOT visit the Harry Potter 7 Wikipedia page (link reluctantly provided here… don't think about clicking it!)!!! A very detailed plot summary chock full of spoilers is featured in plain view, complete with the series' conclusion, and if you desire to preserve the sanctity and wonder of the sacred, magical reading experience, avoid it at all costs!!!
On the other hand, here's an informative article about the book's release so far in the rest of the world, which is quite safe to peruse.
The official U.S. release is only one hour away!
In other news… my father bought a gigantic watermelon. Ooh-la-la! Tomorrow I'll have a delicious watermelon sharbat smoothie.
Note: I shall be in complete media seclusion until I obtain a copy of Harry Potter 7 and finish reading it completely. This is to avoid any mention of spoilers from TV, radio, friends, and unfortunately other bloggers. Until then, therefore, Jenny-fa Land will be in total lockdown. Hope to resurface soon.
Sincerely, Jenny-fa.
- Listening to: "Tokyo Nights" by Hikaru Utada
Well, S-chan, this review is for you… I was formerly disinclined to offer my opinions about this novel, since I know you would be waiting for a chance to attack my anti-Bella views. But, being the benevolent (and rational) person I am, I decided in the end that strangulation at the hands of S-chan over a measly juvenile novel… well, just wasn't worth it.
At any rate, here is my very objective and unbiased review of New Moon, sequel to Stephenie Meyer's Twilight.
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A while ago, I swore to myself that I would write less of these book, movie, and music reviews, but as you can see, this invariably resulted in failure… thanks to my overconfidence in my own willpower. At any rate, here is a lengthy review on Stephenie Meyer's young adult novel, Twilight. (Prepare to be bored out of your minds.)
When I first picked up this book at the behest of my friend, S-chan, I was both intrigued and fascinated by its premise: an average teenage girl, Bella, moves to a new town, meets an "exquisitely beautiful" boy, falls in love with him, and later comes to the realization that her beloved is a vampire.
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