HAHAHAHAHAHA I CAN'T CONTAIN IT ANYMORE. I have a lawyer. His name is Sylvester. We've been working together since the fifth grade. And just now I decided that Jorge (HOR-hay, not Georgie) is the name of my professional hit man. A highly skilled contract killer who came into being shortly after I threatened Yachi with the usual "I'll kill you… in your sleep." Which segued into a long, Conan O'Brien-esque "There will be no physical evidence linking me to your murder. It shall be done. I will pay for it. And I will be blameless, blameless in the eyes of the international court…"

See, when you threaten people, you've got to make the "I'll kill you" part loud and menacing (preferably in a heavy metal death voice), then wait a few, uncomfortable seconds for that to simmer before springing the "in your sleep" bit in a low, intimidating hiss. Unfortunately, I haven't mastered the death threat sans the goofy grin yet, but it's enough to personally entertain.

Jorge is 100% pure Mexican, of course. Sylvester is just one of those run-of-the-mill sleazy white Americans, though — now that I think about it — possibly part Russian and Italian mafia. Gee… that would explain why he's so… lethal.

Damn, it's too perfect. I'm beside myself.