W00t! My beloved blog is now working properly (and running sexy fast) again, all thanks to some snazzy database rejuvenation/trimming and esoteric WordPress optimization. Herr Database is now a lean, mean (but unfortunately not green) machine. Congratulate me. Yes.

In other news, I discovered today (whilst on my seasonal crawl for good Web hosting deals) that the much acclaimed, WordPress-endorsed Web hosting provider DreamHost was holding a Year-End Blowout Sale — sign up before midnight on Dec. 30, 2008, and receive one year of Web hosting for $0.77 USD per month, with a lifetime of unlimited storage and bandwidth! ("That's a $119.40 value for just $9.24.") Add to that their 97-day money-back guarantee and the free domain, and I was immediately sold!

My only regret is that I hadn't discovered and blogged about this promotion sooner. Awwwwwwwww, dudes… think about the lovely deals you could've nabbed! Well, I guess it wouldn't really matter, since readership is so low… but imagine if you were a bit more loyal. It hurts, doesn't it? To have such a golden opportunity slip through your fingers? HAHAHAHAHA WELL IT SUCKS FOR YOU, SUCKERS. FOR ONCE IT PAYS TO READ MY BLOG!!

*prolonged, gratuitous maniacal laugh is unexpectedly curtailed by a hacking cough*

Well, if you're quick, the offer ends in about two hours. If you're too late (as the proverbial death screamer would helpfully intone), watch these videos. They'll cheer you up.

Also see the interviews with Jon Bon Jovi (the American rock musician) and Zack Braff (the television actor).

Yes, my munificence truly has no equal. I love you too.

Update (12/31/08): THE SALE IS STILL ON, GUYS!!! It appears that Dreamhost is extending the sale — the deadline is today, Dec. 31! There's only about 40 minutes remaining in my time zone, but since DreamHost is based in California (I think), you should all have… 3 hours and 40 minutes.

Well… what are you looking at? Get going!

I'm sure this will be a heartbreak to no one, but posting and commenting to this blog does not work right now (this entry is an edit of an existing draft, which is the reason why I'm able to post it). I scoured the help forums at my Web host's site, and it appears that the problem is that I've exceeded my database quota. Now, I'm awaiting a response from the support staff, but in the meantime, I'm contemplating the alternatives. Upgrade to a paid account… or move elsewhere? I would prefer the former over migrating to a different host, but Awardspace's performance of late has been somewhat sketchy… and I am experiencing downtime much more frequently.

Hmmm… what to do?

Anyway, I do have Part 2 of my underground/indie reviews saved in draft form, so if the matter isn't resolved soon, I might publish it just for the sake of updating. For those saps who actually read my blog — kudos to you. You might just not be able to reply to anything even if you wanted to.

Oh yes, and happy New Year.

There's several things I despise about Asian females in general. First of all, their quietness. Their submissiveness. Then there's that annoying inability to grow a personality, or else their penchant for adhering to pop-crazed Asia's ideal of a gentle, unobtrusive sweetheart. Finally, let's not forget their bleeping academic fetish and borderline pathetic obsession with school rankings (or, at least, that's what experience has taught me here in the U.S.). *cough cough*

So, I think you know where this is headed.

Tila Tequila

Hometown: Singapore (grew up in Houston, Texas)
Genre: Hip-hop, rap
Years active: 2001–present
Links: Myspace (most popular artist on the site) - Official site - Wikipedia

Trust me, this is as sexy as this blog's ever gonna get.

Tila Tequila (legal name: Thien Thanh Thi Nguyen) was born in Singapore to French-Vietnamese parents. She moved to Houston, Texas at the age of one, living the difficult immigrant lifestyle that some of us are accustomed to. But unlike some "Asians" in our midst, Tila is uninhibited. A former Playboy model, reality TV star, self-proclaimed "Miss Myspace," and now an aspiring hip-hop/rap artist, she's the opposite of the abhorred Asian stereotype — bold, aggressive, somewhat licentious, and overtly bisexual. And not to mention a piece of unbelievable eye candy… if you know what I mean.

Although the kind of suggestive antics on display in Tila's world are not my usual cup of tea (ahem), I do honestly admire her for several reasons. First, her repudiation of that loathsome Asian image. Second, her lovely music videos. And third, her thoroughly badass punk attitude, as manifested in lyrics such as "I'll fuck you up!" and "'Cause I'm the crazy bitch, I ain't got no shame." And some of her music itself is the kind of hip-hop that should be produced — undiluted and glorious. Not that hip-pop rubbish they spit out elsewhere.

If you still don't know why I admire this gorgeous bisexual, check out her music video to "I Love U." See if the title matches your expectations. And yes, I do delight in seeing her with that whip. And the guy on the ground, being the submissive one for once.

Recommended tracks (via Myspace): "Stripper Friends," "Paralyze" (a more mellow pop tune)
Music videos: "I Love U" (*** FREAKIN' AWESOME ***), "Stripper Friends" (a bit salacious; definitely not for the mild-mannered)
Rating: 7/10

In other news, I upgraded to WordPress 2.7 yesterday. I'm not sure I'm a fan of the new redesign. Sure, it's snappier and, uh, more Web 2.0-ish… but did we really have to sacrifice the color? The pizazz? And half of my functional plugins?

In other other news, I'm also working very hard on my next installment of the underground/indie reviews. Even though my readership is perpetually close to zero. Don't know why I even bother.

And oh yeah… happy holidays, everyone! Two weeks of nonstop napping! ^____^

Hello, neophytes. This is the first in a several-part series that I'm beginning on this blog, which will be devoted to documenting stand-out underground and indie bands that I've discovered while poking around on the Web. These bands, while primarily rock and metal-oriented, represent a variety of countries around the globe and, for the most part, have yet to be signed to a major record label. And although Fa really should be finishing a novel, doing a project, and studying for a test right now… I think I can risk the deferment, as I've got excess hours stored up in my biological clock from napping too long during the day.

If you like a particular band on this page, don't forget to visit their site/Myspace and perhaps purchase an album — many of them need the support!

Seven bands today. Be warned: this page is behemoth!

Continue reading »

The perfect retort, as we all know, has an unfortunate habit of arriving late. For instance, that douchebag (like countless douchebags before him) who tried to verbally override my assertion of world citizenship? Goddammit, Fa. You freakin' should've said "NO, I'm not going to categorize you. I'm going to CASTRATE YOU." Insert diabolical laugh.

In my mind, the sound of those last two words would leave an impressive ring upon the air.

Anyway, so. I hate food. I hate everything I eat. Except for grape juice and that aloe vera drink. And I hate the fact that I'm chastised by mi querido padre for my picky-ness (since apparently I'm at fault) while no one stops to think that maybe Fa is sick of everything because she's a VEGETARIAN in a freakin' MEAT HAVEN where even broccoli cheese soup contains chicken broth and she's frickin' SICK of all the cheese pizza, macaroni and cheese, and frozen vegetables that she's forced to eat.

So, neophytes. Think vegetarians aren't marginalized in our society? Think those crazy vegans have all the dietary options they could ever hope for? WELL THINK AGAIN, YOU STUPID CARNIVORES. THIS SOCIETY IS BUILT FOR CARNIVORES, GOVERNED BY CARNIVORES, AND FREAKING CATERED BY CARNIVORES, SO DON'T YOU EVER SMILE SNIDELY AT ME AGAIN AND SAY, "Well, we have a lot of vegetarian options. Like salad."

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I BANISH YOU ALL TO HECK.

Hey, that was a pretty good post. Begin depressed, culminate unhinged. I think I'll celebrate with some aloe.