I remember the last time we did that. I was only six or seven. I was furious that time, too. Seized, perhaps, by fancy or necessity (and the scissors having already been stowed away), I obtained a knife from the kitchen, then proceeded to saw away at a sheet of paper. A sullen child, naked blade in hand. See those eyes glower! I wonder why he didn't wrest the thing away from me.

But of course, I know. The same reason those false, impish smiles and chuckles continue unfazed around me. Because life wouldn't be quite the same without that obstinate, habitually reticent background fixture. If that fixture, say, moved to Antarctica or dissolved into quarks and protons, no one would lament its passing save for the procurement of a replacement. A matter of course! Something else to neglect with ignorance, bruise with self-importance. We (the rest of the sensate world) suggest a puppy.

But even a puppy will whine in discontent, bark in anger. Those unfeeling, unseemly lashing-outs and bouts of muffled silence evidently raise no such flags. Since when did visible unhappiness equate normalcy? Since when did mordant remarks indicate a genuine bad nature, a natural ill-temper, a harmless, prolonged despondency? One might laugh thoughtlessly at the silly, silly child with the dark eyes and concealed kitchen cleaver, and suppose the thing an unappreciative, ungrateful dunce. Congratulations, then. Top marks! The dunce will now take her bow. In the meantime I marvel at and curse you all.

I can't eat anything nowadays. Y'see, roughly two weeks ago, I suddenly lost interest in food. Now my primary motivation in stuffing consumables down my throat is just to stave off the ill-effects of malnutrition.

Among the foods I can't stomach anymore:

• dumplings
• man tou (饅頭) or any kind of bao zi (包子)
• tofu
• rice
• bread
• most vegetables (including broccoli, carrots, cauliflower, green beans, peas… anything green…)
• most fruits (strawberries, cantaloupes, honey dew melons, grapes, bananas, peaches, apples…)

I can still eat pasta with pesto sauce without resorting to force-feeding to some degree, as well as some varieties of breakfast cereal with soy milk (as long as it's in moderation). But I'm afraid my only legitimate solace now is nonfat yogurt. I'm still fond of fruit yogurt, strangely enough.

No pun intended, by the way.

You know what? I would love to be a classically-trained singer. The greatest auditory pleasure in the world, in my opinion, consists of operatic female vocals layered on top of fast percussion and the thrumming and screeching of gloriously distorted electric guitars. There really is no other more epic, more beautiful, or more transcendent sound in the world. And groups like Nightwish did that (until their lead vocalist was fired, and replaced with a non-operatic singer, as evidenced by their latest studio album).

Master!
Apprentice!
Heartborne, 7th Seeker
Warrior!
Disciple!
In me the Wishmaster…

Please keep in mind: the sole purpose of this entry was to bring my scant readership up to speed on several of my deservedly un-fascinating vagaries, not to serve as anyone's entertainment. I can be infuriatingly dreary sometimes, too.

And I'll punish myself later, just you wait.

Addendum: Joe Biden? Way to follow the status quo, Obama.

Well, why don't I? Even though I detest the thought.

Wednesdays shall be given to indolence, as they rightfully should.

^* AKA "Quarter."

INTERNET ACCESS DIATRIBE: As Fa has been infelicitously Internet connection-less for more than a year and has relied on the capricious munificence of the public library system for all of her cyberinformation exigences, and due to extenuating circumstances on the weekend following the commencement of the 2008 Summer Olympics (and the fact that no library opens its doors in the dead of night), she, unlike the millions of bloggers who already take this (personally) historically inaccessible luxury for granted, was not able to blog about the aforesaid 2008 Summer Olympics in a more timely fashion than conflicting library hours and various nettlesome errands could possibly allow.

The humble author also wishes a malediction upon those who churlishly snigger at Fa's tragic privation.

Now on to the main course!

Olympics, Olympics, Olympics! NBC, our national television network here in the U.S., has devoted practically all of its broadcast time to coverage of Olympic events. I've always been somewhat disdainful of organized sports, but competitions between athletes from around the globe? Displays of sportsmanship transcending cultural and political barriers? Commentary that for once doesn't pertain to that odious testosterone-fest known as American football?? I am all over this one, baby.

In addition, that opening ceremony was a glorious splurge. Incredible! Over 15,000 individual performers! The choreography, the training! The sheer engineering involved! If you haven't seen it, WATCH THE FRICKIN' CEREMONY AND PREPARE TO BE AMAZED. If you don't… well, then you're an effing pariah.

Commentary on the Parade of Nations: I actually stayed up to watch the entire procession — no problem when one loves seeing and learning about different nations and cultures. What was especially of interest was the reception of the various teams, measured by political sentiments and the volume of cheers/boos. The U.S. probably got the noisiest and most sustained cheers aside from the Chinese. Australia and North Korea also received warm welcomes. Iraq was cheered surprisingly loudly, in direct contrast with Iran, the only team I remember that was booed. And there were some tense moments when Team France filed out into the stadium, but the audience applauded them just as loudly as for the others. No jeers or violence from ultra-nationalists.

And is anyone else slightly ticked off that Taiwan is being forced to participate as "Chinese Taipei"? I looked this up online, and apparently this is nothing new. But still. They're not even permitted to use their own flag! WTF.

Also check out NBCOlympics.com for more streaming video and insanely extensive news coverage.

On another note, the ongoing armed conflict between Russia and Georgia that's escalated to war… does not look good.

The title was going to be "No no no no, no no el bistec," but it was too lengthy… and arcane.

I visited RIT last weekend. Oh, yes, funny story. After a sleepless night with an incredibly inconsiderate roommate who spent the entire night texting her friends (rapid-fire, nonstop) all the way into the wee hours (I couldn't sleep on account of the loud clacking of the keys), I stumbled out of bed, went to the dining hall for breakfast, and bit into this innocuous-looking biscuit. Well, I did think the texture was unusual, but it took me several minutes and three mouthfuls before I realized that THERE WERE TINY PIECES OF MEAT IN THE FUCKING BISCUIT!!!!

The next few minutes saw a mortified vegetarian spitting out masticated bits of biscuit and frantically cleansing her tongue with a napkin.

In other news, I finally figured out who Summer Glau is (many thanks to late night talk shows).