11 Dec 2008 | Alstublieft, hallo, hartelijik gefeliciteerd
The perfect retort, as we all know, has an unfortunate habit of arriving late. For instance, that douchebag (like countless douchebags before him) who tried to verbally override my assertion of world citizenship? Goddammit, Fa. You freakin' should've said "NO, I'm not going to categorize you. I'm going to CASTRATE YOU." Insert diabolical laugh.
In my mind, the sound of those last two words would leave an impressive ring upon the air.
Anyway, so. I hate food. I hate everything I eat. Except for grape juice and that aloe vera drink. And I hate the fact that I'm chastised by mi querido padre for my picky-ness (since apparently I'm at fault) while no one stops to think that maybe Fa is sick of everything because she's a VEGETARIAN in a freakin' MEAT HAVEN where even broccoli cheese soup contains chicken broth and she's frickin' SICK of all the cheese pizza, macaroni and cheese, and frozen vegetables that she's forced to eat.
So, neophytes. Think vegetarians aren't marginalized in our society? Think those crazy vegans have all the dietary options they could ever hope for? WELL THINK AGAIN, YOU STUPID CARNIVORES. THIS SOCIETY IS BUILT FOR CARNIVORES, GOVERNED BY CARNIVORES, AND FREAKING CATERED BY CARNIVORES, SO DON'T YOU EVER SMILE SNIDELY AT ME AGAIN AND SAY, "Well, we have a lot of vegetarian options. Like salad."
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I BANISH YOU ALL TO HECK.
Hey, that was a pretty good post. Begin depressed, culminate unhinged. I think I'll celebrate with some aloe.
Tags: vegetarianism, world citizenship
Amy says:
…That would've been a good retort.
I used to have vegetarian friends. They ate good blueberry pie. I highly recommend pie. You could probably have it for breakfast, or some kind of pastry. And if you eat fish, you could have tuna fish sandwiches for lunch. And casserole for dinner. And you can make your own pizza and add non-meat toppings. (Sorry, I know my suggestions are trite…I haven't really explored vegetarianism).
If I may ask, when did you become a vegetarian? And why?
9:14 pm | Friday, December 12, 2008
Jenny-fa says:
DUUUUDE, AMY. NO. VEGETARIANS DON'T EAT FISH. IF YOU SEE A VEGETARIAN EATING FISH, THEN HE OR SHE IS NOT A VEGETARIAN. You see, the definition of vegetarianism is "not eating meat," and you know what meat is??? ANIMAL FLESH. And the last time I checked, FISH ARE ANIMALS.
But dude, I did love those tuna sandwiches. They were the best.
I hate pizza, incidentally.
Anyway, I became a vegetarian shortly after returning from a trip to Germany two summers ago. We went to one of those beer halls, and aside from the gallon-sized flagons of beer, we were served the biggest, coarsest, most eww-ewww-too-much-meat slab of dead pig or whatever it was along with a paltry side of potato salad. So, yeah, all of that carnivorous excess later convinced me to turn vegetarian. And plus I'm concerned about the ecological footprint of the meat industry as well.
Thanks for your suggestions, by the way. But somehow I'd rather not make blueberry pie the mainstay of my diet, if you know what I mean.
12:24 am | Saturday, December 13, 2008
S-chan says:
Castrate, huh? Couldn't get any more trite or anticlimactic.
Why, whatever are you talking about? Salad is scrumptious (especially for them vegetarians, of course)!
7:38 pm | Sunday, December 14, 2008
Jenny-fa says:
S-chan, stop putting "~" as your name and "meep@google.com" as your email address. It's annoying trying to click a tiny edit link that's only one character long. And for heaven's sake, stop deliberately trying to flag yourself as spam.
8:12 pm | Sunday, December 14, 2008