Jenny-fa

Prelude to this post: “Snatches of completeness that even I envy.”

Well, I finished reading Koi Kaze. Although it did not end in tragedy after all, it was still a bittersweet kind of conclusion.

WARNING: SPOILER ALERT. Plot elements are discussed in great detail here, so do not proceed if you haven’t already finished the manga.

As it turns out, Koshiro and Nanoka confess to each other, Koshiro kisses her, and they spend the rest of the evening at Koshiro’s apartment, wondering what they should do. Nanoka reminisces to Koshiro about a childhood dream of hers, where she becomes a cosmetician like her mother and marries and has lots of children.

“But since I like Brother now,” she murmurs, smiling sadly, “that ‘dream’ will never come true.”

Koshiro is inwardly devastated by her pronouncement, although he does his best to cover it up. Later that night, Nanoka asks him to sleep with her, and Koshiro vows to keep their relationship chaste and never to “do” anything with her.

Morning comes, and Koshiro initially intends to spend the day together at a park, but the two get sidetracked on the bus and end up at a Shinto temple instead. The sun is shining, and the foliage casts shimmering shadows on the temple steps. After praying, the brother and sister sit beside each other on a stone ledge overlooking the ocean. After several minutes of basking in the sunshine and sound of ocean waves, Nanoka abruptly breaks the silence, startling Koshiro.

“Let’s commit lovers’ suicide.”

Koshiro is tongue-tied, but Nanoka proceeds, serenely and wistfully. “If only I could be reborn as someone else, and not be your sister… then I could be your bride.”

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As terrible as that thought is, it’s quickly put behind them, although its memory lurks in the background of every subsequent encounter between the two. Koshiro drops Nanoka off at her house and promises her he’ll be back after attending to some important business.

“I won’t deny my feelings anymore. I’ll always be close to you. But Nanoka, don’t be afraid to live more freely from now on.”

Nanoka is then shown lying on the floor, holding her brother’s teddy bear, and wondering to herself what he meant by that.

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But back to that “dream” motif. The story then follows Koshiro as he visits his mother, dressed somberly in a black tie and suit. After joking that Koshiro looked like he was “bringing back a bride,” his mother asks Koshiro his reason for coming. Koshiro then tells her that he intends to remain a bachelor for the rest of his life, and he will never marry because of someone he liked. Makie is surprised, but tells him gently that she trusts him to do the right thing. She withdraws to the beauty parlor for a bit to attend to a customer, and Koshiro kneels down and bows after her retreating back in the Japanese fashion. When Makie returns, she finds that her son has already left.

The rest of the tale is like a dream. To avoid revealing any more telling details, Koshiro and Nanoka both agree to give up their respective dreams to be with each other, although Koshiro continues to live apart from the rest of the family in his apartment. The siblings meet occasionally, using their familial relationship as a cover for their trysts. And yes, the two do become lovers, although this is never shown explicitly.

The last scene leads us back to a park full of cherry blossoms in full bloom. Koshiro and Nanoka meet by arrangement, and Koshiro mentions that he heard the carnival would be closing soon. Nanoka sadly reflects that she had thought it would always be there. Then Nanoka mentions that her mother had told her about Koshiro’s vow to never marry, and teasingly scolds him for not telling Nanoka first.

“Brother, I like you. I love you.” Smiling warmly, she seizes Koshiro by the hand. “Let’s go!”

Koshiro drags behind and they break apart. Surrounded by a shower of pink cherry blossoms, Nanoka smiles and makes as if to run ahead without him. Then the tumultuous emotions that Koshiro had suppressed and kept secret for so long break to the surface, and Koshiro calls after her, “Nanoka! I love you.”

Having finally expressed himself freely, some color rises in Koshiro’s face, but he manages to smile it away. The last panel shows Nanoka smiling back in genuine happiness, and the story ends.

In all, I was glad to see Koi Kaze end this way. Not everything is resolved, and the author makes no guarantee that they’ll live the rest of their lives in peace. And it is somewhat heartbreaking that the two will always have to conceal their relationship and continue to meet in that manner… but then again, that is life. There are some things that one can never attain. And as every realist knows, it’s foolish to think otherwise.

And once again, I have to say that Koi Kaze, while perhaps the most beautiful story I’ve ever read, is (to steal from another review) a truly “disturbing masterpiece”… and something that I have no doubt will remain with me for a long time, to tug again and again at my heartstrings and trouble me as I lie awake at night.